Reading – The Seven Languages of Respect
Share your experiences. When do you feel respected by your students? Is there something that you have implemented with your students that you feel has encouraged respect?
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It can take a while to build this relationship, but I feel respected and connected when the quiet students are prepared to ask a question and take part in class discussions. As Micheal has mentioned in an earlier session, these quiet ones often have the best ideas!
This is a shocker: content that seems incredibly patronising to an educator who has practiced reflective practice.
Moreover, there is no such word as ‘disrespected’.
Students respond to good teaching; respect is not a dirty word. And there is nothing wrong with being respectful to your elders: they might even know something.
My student are of high special needs, with no or limited oral communication skills : In regards to respect, I (teacher) would use strong body language to enforce Joy, or sadness (disappointment);
If the student has a communication device software in the I pad, then i would use what ever icon they would have available on the i pad to acknowledge good choices and or inappropriate choices.
I feel respected by my students when they engage in class and participate. I have implemented giving students responsibilities within the classroom and I am open and vulnerable with them in sharing some experiences to illustrate the concepts I am teaching. I also show an interest in them personally.
I believe each teacher can only judge their class (students) and find out what works for that group of students. I agree with your response above, for your current students
Being able to be ‘vulnerable’ in a professional way with one’s students, is a tangible way to build relationships. Students love it when the teacher makes a mistake!
I acknowledge the changes to our teaching space in regards to the younger cohorts of students and the challenge that his has created in my practice, I had a student in a 2019 class ask Siri on her phone to define discrimination after we had discussed what discrimination is and looked at examples of it in class etc. She duly wrote down the definition provided by Siri rather her own definition from our class discussions. This is a challenge for teachers (myself included) who have not understood some of the concepts that this training so clearly identifies about the differences… Read more »
Sounds like you did a great job in incorporating what this student did by acknowledging it. I think that a little acknowledgement of the younger generation goes a long way.
I had an overseas student who seemed to be distracted on his mobile but he was actually looking up the translation of a technical word that had come up in a class discussion. It gave me more respect for him that he was making this sort of effort, rather than just tuning out of the discussion, which can so easily happen.
I agree with Liona – Having them submit feedback at the end of lessons/ modules shows their respect and interest in what you are doing…
Building rapport and positive open communication is key to how I approach teaching. If you can have a laugh with students, be quirky, be enthusiastic and supportive and take a genuine interest in their ideas and lives – then the teaching is easy…retention rates and class attendance is always a good indicator of how you are going too.
I agree Lydia, open communication and a flexible relaxed outlook where we can have a laugh and enjoy the learning experience are essential to learning, as is the building of rapport with students and understanding the challenges they may face both in and out of the classroom.
I feel respected by students when they feel that they are safe to come to speak to me. I feel respected by students when they follow simple instructions, such as hand in assessments when due. I feel respected when they contribute and share in class. I feel respected when they show up on time.
I feel respect from student when they are polite and don’t interrupt.
I feel it is important to take the first step in building rapport with students. Often they do come with “a story”, it is important to get to know the student, know and understand the story. Gone are the days of teachers being “more than”. My favourite memory of one of my teachers was at high school in 1984, I will never forget my Home Ec. teacher, she was approachable, understood me, kind, empathetic someone that I knew I could trust. I excelled in that subject with A+ for almost every test. In contrast with other teachers who beamed with… Read more »
I agree Maria, relationships are the basis of teaching in my experience and when teachers are authoritarian in their approach this alienates the younger generation. Respect is built in relationships of trust, not given as a result of a position held by an individual
I feel respected when my students actively participate in class addressing questions being asked are are not confident enough to state that they do not understanding the question or need clarification on the content.
I feel respected when students are willing to ask questions to increase their understanding about course content. Also, if they take the time to provide feedback on the session.
I absolutely agree. If students are willing to ask questions and provide feedback then it is shows that you have their respect and they feel comfortable and confident in being able to approach you for assistance.
Totally agree Leona. When questions are asked, discussions can happen and you know you are on the right path.
i agree Leona, it is so important that the students feel free to ask questions and this certainly shows respect for you as their teacher.
I agree that trust is very valuable when trying to achieve respect with students and in turn, be respected by students in my care. Trust can be gained by showing that I have listened to my students and they are confident to ask for my help. I agree that trust can also be demonstrated by sharing my own stories and in turn listening to my students stories.
I absolutely agree. If both teachers and students can share their stories it leads to a more meaningful experience for everyone.
100 percent agree – ‘storytelling is part of our culture and part of design’ which is the subject I teach.
I feel respected when students actively listen to the lesson and respond with with questions and statements using an appropriate tone of voice
I agree Patricia, students are demonstrating respect by showing they are engaged in the lesson content when they are asking questions.
I agree. Students who respond asking appropriate questions, actively participating and using an appropriate tone of voice are clearly demonstrating respect in the learning environment. It shows that you have made the connection with them.
I feel respected when students actively take part in learning activities and share when they may have issues or need additional help. This shows that there is enough trust to show vulnerability.
I agree Dorte – I was actually trying to think of the word vulnerability when I was writing my post for this topic!
I feel respect when students participate in sessions as it says to me they’re listening and are engaged
I agree Megan. Students engaging in discussions are showing trust in what is being taught
Yes Megan, such a good point. There is nothing like the energy of collaboration, when learners are invested in their learning, working together, showing their engagement
Agree Megan, class participation is paramount to achieving learning goals. When students are listening and engaged you know you are more than half way there.
I feel respected as a teacher when students actively engage in the class discussions and show an interest in their learning materials.
Yes Christine, engaging in class discussions demonstrates active listening and as a teacher I feel respected
Yes i agree, with your comments. I also feel when students stop, look, listen in the direction of my voice (discussion or instructions) for an activity .
I feel respected when Students actively engage in learning and share their ideas, experience and opinions
I certainly agree Nardia – so important for students to share ideas and listen to different points of view. If feel it help them prepare for the workplace environment where they will be interacting with cohorts of colleagues with varying opinions and experiences.
I feel respected when students engage in the learning and can forget about their phones for the time that they are in the classroom.
Join the discussion… I agree Lisa, it is so important for students to engage in and develop skills in face to face communication and the benefits of active listening.
Liza and Christine, I agree wholeheartedly with both of you! I believe that the mobile phone should be ‘off and away’ when engaging in face to face teaching and lesson material that requires students to be fully engaged within the classroom and with the lesson content.
I agree with you Liza, but phones can also be used as learning tools. In my classes, students use dictionary apps or text messaging, when we practice writing.
Great point Dorte. Many people use their phones as a resource in their work now (eg some doctors will look things up on a phone when examining a patient in a hospital bed). Phones can be resources for learning or a distraction, depending on how they are used.
I have many overseas students who use their phones to translate some of the technical words used in class.
In the online delivery COVID world I find that respect in both directions is increasing due to the way my students are working with me to come up with the best way to move forward with their educational needs and more one to one time to build a real relationship with each student is occurring.
I agree entirely, I think COVID has made everyone acknowledge, we are all struggling through it the best we can and to have a little more patience and adaptability makes it easier on everyone. Most of my students are impressed with being given the option to continue their learning in an online connected delivery.
I feel respected when students engage in their work and discuss their work. when they are engaging in group work i will try to sit with them to remove the invisible barrier of teacher/student
Agree Michael when studnets are engaged in their work it validates your ability to connect with them and help them connect with their peers.
I feel respected when students give attention to what is being said and consider its validity. Agreeing or disagreeing is not important but taking the time to think it through is.
I agree, however, I think it is equally as important for students to voice their opinions, and listen to the opinions of other students. This may influence their thinking further!
I try to reach out to my students through sharing workplace experiences; some successful and some not. Showing them my ‘vulnerable’ side I feel, helps to show them that I am only a human too. I find it builds rapport, which in turn, leads to mutual respect.
I agree. I think this breaks down some barriers created by the labels of ‘student’ and ‘teacher’ and promotes better relationships and meaningful learning opportunities.
I agree – I had a teacher at school who often shared their real life experiences – it always helped us seeing him as real and being able to respect what he was saying was somehow made easier – I try to do this with my students – real life examples are always good for starting discussion
I agree with you, Erica. I think it’s important that both sides see each other as human beings, which can reduce the stress that some students may experience in the classroom. I find that students like to hear real life stories they can relate to, rather than be provided with “text book” information only.
I agree respect must be earned not automatically given. I think students are hard to fool & if they can see the teacher is genuine in their desire to help them succeed this fosters respect.
yes i agree – when students see a teacher is engaged with the class content AND engaged with their learning relationships are formed that lead to mutual respect
Yes, if you give them your time and show a genuine interest in them, and try to answer any questions they may have, them they will trust you have their best interests at heart, and gain their respect.
I feel most respected when students actively participate in learning. I endeavour to learn and use the names of all students as quickly as I can. I think this is the first step in developing the relationship, it opens the floor for two-way communication.
I agree Christine, we all respond better when somebody addresses us by our name.
Absolutely! It makes you feel like they genuinely have concern for you.
This discussion about respect resonates strongly with me. I am concurrently taking a leadership course and the ideas are similar with there respect to how to get the best out of your employees – autonomy, mastery, and purpose.
Purpose, absolutely! Make it relevant and real.
Agree Jennifer, the relationship in the classroom between teacher/student is similar to manager/team member in the workplace. If we as teachers or leaders want to earn respect we have to be willing to give some responsibility to our students and get to know them.
I work in the VET sector with students ranging in age from 17 – 60+ and respect and value the vast knowledge and experience in the room when teaching. I feel we learn more from actively listening to the content, then asking for input and ideas from the students on their understanding or experience of the concepts.
Definitely a way to empower and engage with students!
I too work in the VET sector with a wide range of students and find that the interchange of knowledge between the young and old in both directions often leads to respect and an increased willingness to work together.
Agreed. We show respect when we honour their experience and knowledge
I think that respect is a two way process and in the role of a teacher it is crucial to be a positive role model and show respect to students.
I feel respected when there is open conversation and all parties feel that they have something to contribute to the experience. I
I teach adults from CALD backgrounds and it’s important to respect our learner’s cultural and linguistic backgrounds as well as their life and professional experiences. From the outset, we establish a mentor/mentee learning relationship and welcome suggestions and feedback on our lessons.
I teach adults as well Jane & I agree we must respect their various backgrounds & individual needs as well as the vast knowledge & experience they bring with them
I seek to empower students by emphasising choices. For example, You can choose to do the review questions or you can choose not too. I do follow it up with encouraging good choices over poor choices and the benefits of making good choices.
I definitely feel respected by the students as I see them making progress in learning, understanding and engagement.
I currently train students that are completing their HSC. I encourage communication, a positive attitude, and I share with them real life experiences that relate to their work. We have a lot of fun and smiles.
Hi Kathryn,
I think that the linking of course work with real life experiences is a great way to build understanding and respect. It shows that you have an interest in the students.
Wow, mine sit there and stare! But, I have managed to conquer through relating the learnings to situations that they can relate to. Sometimes, not easy!
I have students ranging from teenagers to mature learners. I share real life stories especially work experiences (credibility) with my students and they share real life stories with me and the class. I never assume anything as the students bring in their own wealth of knowledge and experiences. I always greet my students with a warm welcome in the morning. Creating a safe and welcoming environment is crucial to the student overall learning experience.
I couldn’t agree with you more Katina. Sharing life stories with our students validates who they are and enhances their self esteem. Learning a new language and adapting to a new culture is a challenging experience and students need to connect to the past as well as the present to create their future.
I love sharing stories. Students love hearing and sharing stories too. Win-win.
As a tertiary teacher I enjoy hearing students stories and experiences and in turn share my experiences. Students classes usually have a range of age groups and a varying levels of experience in the workplace.
Hi Sue,
I agree that the sharing of stories and experiences is vital to gain an understanding of how the content/knowledge is applied in real life. It also allows the students to hear how other age groups or dynamics experience life.
I believe in sharing with my students. I always share stories of my family, work life etc. I think this creates a rapport with them. I teach cooking, so having stories from my previous jobs etc, they can be linked to what I am teaching, it engages them as well as shows them that I am not just another teacher. I am a person who does work and is someone other than a teacher.
They share too and it creates a collaboration of ideas, support and respect.
I have found that sharing experiences from my working life before teaching engages students, allowing them to place in context aspects of their learning especially for younger students with little experience in a workplace.
I have a range of learners from teenagers to mature learners. I feel respected by students when there is a healthy rapport between us and when communication is open and everyone contributes. I have class protocols and we devise together as a group and negotiate on which are the most relevant to ensure effective learning and that everyone’s viewpoint is catered for. Encouraging this inclusivity has also ensured learners respect each other and also respect me. I adopt a collaborative, exploratory learning approach with relevant signposting where required, depending on individual differences and learner’s needs
I love your ideas and will take them with me to my next teaching group – setting the class rules rather than dictating them is a great way to indicate respect.
I have students ranging from school leavers to 70 year olds in my classroom and many from CALD backgrounds. This can be tricky to cover all aspects of respect. I usually try get to know each one personally and respect them for who they are and why they are attending. Everyone has wonderful experiences to share and the younger ones get a lot out of the older ones being in class and vice versa. Here they respect each other and also myself for listening and leading discussions.
Hi Trish
I agree that it is very useful to draw on learners’ experiences and it is a great way of building respect between learners of different ages and you as the listener and class leader. I adopt a similar approach and facilitate, discussions, drawing on learner’s knowledge and then helping them apply this to topic concepts.
Hi Trish and Margaret,
I understand where you are both coming from and I also interweave their experiences into whichever topic we are on. It’s an enriching shared experience.
Being a genuine person is the best tool we can have in our satchel. Stories are of upmost importance in the tourism industry.
I agree think being genuine and transparent is gold.
Great point. Authenticity is very important to build respect and connection.
I agree totally, there is nothing better than authenticity 🙂
Share your experiences. When do you feel respected by your students? Is there something that you have implemented with your students that you feel has encouraged respect? As a first-year teacher, I have found that it is much easier to gain the respect and approval of the students because I am looking for the same thing. In my first couple of lessons, I made it a particularly important goal of mine to learn my students’ names. I remember when I was a student, myself, it was such an empowering thing to know that my teachers cared enough about me to… Read more »
Join the discussion…
I agree Joshua the students really love it if you make the effort to encourage them as they feel important.
Joshua, I totally agree with this. I always learn all students names, within a few weeks of starting with a new group. I try really hard to learn their names from their home rather than a given english name.
And they walk into the kitchen with a hello chef
Hi Joshua,
I also believe in positive affirmation. It does build their confidence especially when they feel they are not keeping up with the other students.
I had never really considered the different dimensions to “respect”…but I do know that in a Vocational Education classroom with adults, it is absolutely critical to value their experiences that they bring. That, and creating a safe and welcoming environment is crucial. Adults will not come if it not a fun and engaging experience.
Hi Fran
I total agree that creating an engaging experience is crucial and our role is to facilitate this in how we leverage learner’s experiences, how we enliven topic content and the tools we use. I also believe respect should be earned through communicating with learners and working together to ensure a collaborative environment, where respect is inherent and learning enhanced
Hi Fran, this is very true, as I can verify that with adults as I am one of them and we do need it to fun when we are being educated:)
I find that it is important to know the students names, also it ask them things about themselves when waiting to go into the classroom or finding out if they play sport on the weekend and how their games went, it demonstrates that you are interested in the students themselves and that you are interested in them as people and they are not just a number in the system. I find that if they do a task well and you encourage them they then keep trying. Encourage them to come up with ideas that we could do in class activities… Read more »
Hello Joanne – remembering student’s names is a must to show your interest in the student.
Hi Joanne, that is something I really try very quickly is to remember students names. I have been involved in the Hospitality industry all my life and people love you to remember their names:)
I teach a number of practical classes and find that by giving students individual tasks that play to their strengths and don’t leave them feeling vulnerable they start to blossom. Even if those tasks may seem small and insignificant if the student can complete them and feel a sense of accomplishment you start to see a change in their attitude toward you and a willingness to (eventually) take greater risk. When those students approach difficult tasks more willingly I feel trust and respect has been earned.
Hi Sharon,
This is so true as I do this with my students in my practical classes. I find this more important with my vulnerable students when they compare themselves to their peers who are already working in the industry and come to class with greater confidence completing the practical tasks.
I find that developing a rapport with students by getting to know them (in a professional manner of course) and sharing stories and putting your humanity out there for them to see is a great respect builder. Even more difficult students eventually respond when they realise that as a teacher you have their best interest at heart, not just their academic achievement.
Pamela, I always try to develop a rapport with my students as well. I will always have little stories to tell them and then they also share!
I feel respected by my students when the follow my implementation for email etiquette. I have asked that my students always acknowledge having received these emails and when sending emails they always use the first line to address me with either Hello Maryanne, or Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Maryanne
I always greet my students with a warm welcome in the morning. In returning from lunch I welcome student back. I share real life stories with my students and they share real life stories with me and the class. I ask for their opinion and ideas creating a flexible class.
Welcoming your students Jackie is a great way of making your students feel respected and important. Sharing your stories and them sharing stories with you demonstrates trust from both sides making your students more open to listening and learning from you.
As a TAFE teacher I often ask students to bring their own experiences to our discussions or learning sessions as often they give a different perspective or extra knowledge – its not like I know everything. Often they will pipe up with them anyway, which is great as it shows they are engaged.
I love it when students offer their stories. We all have so many experiences to share. My classes are from 18-70 yrs old and I can learn so much from them.
yes – i too find this very important and an enjoyable part of Higher Ed teaching. i feel it also helps in forming a connection with the students which then in turn greatly benefits their learning
AS a TAFE teacher and a Nurse I like to get to know my students, I involve them. I give them real life stories. And I never assume anything if you involve your students and encourage their participation in discussions. I also ask them what they want to get out of this course, and build on this
Asking your students what they want out of your course is a great way to empower them. Giving them real life stories i feel makes their learning journey more real and in turn makes them realize what they too can accomplish
Yes, great point. Providing examples from our own experiences is a great way of fostering mutual respect.
As a TAFE teacher of 30 years, my pre-work to a class is to capture images and student details so I am familiar with the cohort and can put a name to the face. I don’t make this a public document for the class to see. I add to their profile along their learning journey, whether it be social stories they have made public or achievement in the class. Being aware and able to draw down on past interactions, I find helps build a Interconnected and safe environment for the students to feel safe and learn in.
That is really useful and it can bring forward special considerations for some students as well eg things you might have to make allowances for from their backgrounds.
I think a warm greeting and taking an active interest is so important in vocational education. The learners feel validated when we ask how their week has been and show an active interest in them personally – it breaks from the mold of traditional student/teacher relationships and allows them to feel valued
Christina just giving them a warm greeting is as great start as it makes the student feel welcomed and asking how they feel is a good idea as I do this as well as it makes them feel comfortable with you and they will seek your help if something is not going right for them.
I have gained respect of my students by incorporating my own “real life” experiences. They are very interested in how the skills they are learning can take them around the world to work in exotic locations, or the local coffee shop.
Hi Glenn
That sounds like a great way of letting your students get to know you as a person and also to link real life learning to your teaching- great idea
Hi Glen
I do the same thing with my VET classes. I try to build respect by Incorporating people, places, photos and events that I have experienced into my presentations. I think it shows the students that I don’t just ‘talk the talk’ but have real life experiences to back up the information. If I can show them what something ‘looks like’ not just have them copy down notes the learning becomes more authentic and they tend to engage more.
We deal with many very disadvantaged students that often have multiple barriers to their learning – the seven languages of respect is a really useful tool to help build respect and create the best possible learning environment….. and I should stop using “should”
I agree, Lucy! I am now reflecting on the number of times I use that word (and its way too often!). Disadvantaged students can be made to feel very valued just in the way you greet them and listen to what they have to say…often they don’t expect to be respected, so if you build the right environment, they will flourish!
I think for some students, the experience of being respected may be new. The respect shown by a teacher can be so empowering.
I feel respected by students when they are willing to engage in discussions and contribute to learning experiences. This shows me they have been listening to me and want to be involved in learning. I try to include the students ideas and thoughts into my teaching style by having lots of informal discussion with them to learn about their interests and passions. I can then make connections between the content and their experiences to try to make learning meaningful for them and I feel this therefore gains their respect as I am showing that I care about them as individuals… Read more »
Hi Chloe
I think allowing students to share their thoughts and opinions helps to validate their worth and also is respectful to them and a great way to share knowledge with the class – great strategy
Join discussion…
Hi Chloe
I think it is so important to have students know that you are listening to their interests and passions and that you make that effort to include it into your classroom. It is always great to get new idea on how to make students feel included and that as adults we can be flexible